If these don’t work you can just ride your bike to work.

May 15, 2007 at 8:08 pm (Politics thoughts, Pop thoughts)

Summer is right around the corner. You know how I know? Well for one thing I have a calendar and it tells me that today is May 15th and I remember from Kindergarten that May was the month before June and June was when we stopped having to go to Kindergarten so that all helps, but there’s also this…

Gas Prices sky rocketing! Yep, every May, as sure as the leaves begin to fall in February and the Christmas decorations go up in October around these parts, we can count on seeing gas prices soar. And just like the weather everybody complains about it but nobody does anything to change it. Well I for one am fed up with it. I’ve decided to do something about it. I’m writing this here post to tell you about real ways that we can lower gas prices. Before we get going with this I want you know that I have no professional training in economics I am simply asserting ideas that make sense to me. Some of them I have heard previously, others came around in e-mail forwards after I had already thought of them. But what I am most interested in on this post are your comments on why or why not my ideas will or will not work.

But before you look at my ideas let me direct you to an actual CNN article which asserts theories by “professionals” that actually completely contradict mine. How cool is that?

Click here for the full CNN article.

Here are their 6 ways to lower gas prices…

1. Pass a carbon tax

2. Increase efficiency

3. Push alternatives

4. Require Oil companies to make more gas.

5. Build a gasoline reserve.

6. Drill more oil.

Now that you’ve seen what the “professionals” have to offer let me give you 6 “dummy” ideas from the grand dummy of the den, me.

1. Repeal all gasoline taxes. The average combined federal and state tax on a gallon of gasoline in the United states is 42 cents. CNN advocates a “carbon tax” of 1 dollar per gallon. Which begs the question. WHAT THE HECK?

Honestly I can’t even think of a proper analogy to how stupid the idea of adding taxes to something to bring the price down is. Can you? Is there anything more absurd then that logic?

My idea is the exact opposite and is perfect for the upcoming 08 elections. Suppose a candidate runs on the platform of saying, “I will repeal all fuel taxes” who wouldn’t vote for him or her?

The really deadly thing about the fuel taxes is that they are what has created the oil monopoly more than anything else. There are laws that make it illegal to sell gas for less then a certain amount above wholesale. I had no idea about this until a Wisconsin gas station owner got busted for it. Evidently the law in Wisconsin is that all gas sold must be at least 9.2 % higher than wholesale. Why? so that the government is able to bring in more money. This makes it impossible for a gas station to lower their prices competitively. That’s why even when you buy gas from the no-name place you’re still only saving between 1 and 2 dollars per tank. If there wasn’t this ridiculous law that it must be sold at a percentage above wholesale then they would be able to offer their gas at pennies above cost and make it up in volume. Thus the other stations would be forced to lower their prices and HOORAY a victory for the free market world.

MEMO to all the GOP candidates for 08: run with this! it is your ticket to the White House guaranteed!

2. Don’t buy Exxon/Mobile.

Now this idea will only work provided the above stated “don’t sell wholesale” laws are changed, but if they are this is the company to boycott. In fact a boycott on this company would get them to lobby for that law to be changed. Exxon Mobile happens to be the largest oil company in the world. They like being the largest. It makes them very rich. They will do anything to stay the largest and the richest even (gasp) lower their prices. If the biggest lower their prices then so will the rest. But organizing a protest of this magnitude is nearly impossible. Outside of a few e-mail forwards that automatically end up in the trash what can we do? None of their competitors want them boycotted so don’t count on Shell or BP to help out. No politicians want them boycotted because they get so much dough in campaign contributions from the oil companies. No environmentalist will push a fuel boycott because all their government funding comes from fuel taxes. There is pretty much no hope for this outside of some really good blog action. Bloggers UNITE! take down Exxon/Mobile.

3. Don’t buy candy.

OK so you have to buy gas, but you don’t have to buy the stuff in the convince stores. You can get that stuff at the grocery store or go without it. This may seem like your going after the wrong company but the fact of the matter is the gas companies profit off your m&m purchase just as much as mars does. The only thing gas companies listen to is the cash register and if you can’t stop it from ringing up your gas tank you can stop it from ringing up your stomach.

4. Drive more.

OK so this one doesn’t seem to make much sense on the surface but hear me out. All we’ve heard about for the past decade is “drive less” and “conserve”, but has this helped lower gas prices at all? NO, instead it’s driven the prices up. Why? Because they can. Remember how the power companies worked? They jacked up the prices and told us to use less but all that happened was we were paying the same (or more) for using less power. They saw we would fall for it so they suckered us in. Drive more. Use more gas. Spend the money. The cost isn’t going to change by you driving less, but the percentage might change by you driving more. For example if you are paying 3.50 a gallon now while driving 200 miles a week what would you be paying if you drove 300 miles a week? Still 3.50. Exactly. You’re getting more out of it.

Ok I know I’m not articulating this point very well so lets move on.

5. Buy stock in the fuel companies.

When you can’t beat em, join em. The fuel execs don’t have to be the only ones lining their pockets with these ridiculous prices, you can to. It’s called stocks. If your investment portfolio doesn’t have the oil companies in it then that’s your own fault (or you’re like me and don’t have any investments, but that’s still my own fault). The more stocks you own the closer you’ll get to being in a position of power. Once you get to that position of power then do us all a favor and lower the prices. thanks

6. CNN got this one right. Drill more!

No matter what they say, oil isn’t about to run out. There is more oil in our planet then we could ever use up in 10 generations. Think about how we have barely scratched the surface of petroleum in the past 100 years. As technology increases we will find “alternative” sources of energy, but we will never find a more efficient “bang for our buck” then petroleum. It’s amazing stuff. We are learning how to burn it cleaner and better and get the most amount of energy possible out of it, so lets keep using it. Problem is we need to be allowed to use it and all the liberal enviro-alarmist don’t want us to because they’re held captive to fear. Fear that we are somehow destroying our planet, when the exact opposite is the case. We are subduing our planet and ruling our planet which is what we were designed to do. We have grabbed the planet by the horns and said, “you will respect my authority” and the planet is slowly but surely realizing the superiority of our intellect over it’s own self-sufficiency. Three cheers for men and women who aren’t afraid to be strong and to take from the planet whatever they need to live a happy, healthy and comfortable lives. Whether that be tress, water or gasoline I say take it and don’t ask permission!

There you have it folks, 6 fantastic ways to bring down the cost of gasoline. You with me?



  1. Anthony said,

    I think there should be gas tax incentives for those who consume less gas. I don’t know how to regulate that but imagine if you have a civic and you have 0.1% gas tax or you have an excursion and you have a 15% gas tax. Make monster trucks pay 1000% gas tax. You see these trucks on the road that are big enough to drive over my house.

    Airplanes use a lot of gas. Maybe we should try to limit frivolous flights.

    Get rid of fast trak and make the carpool lane for actual carpoolers.

    Make carpooling a tax right off.

    Encourage competition in the gasoline industry. There are laws that says gas stations can’t offer gas at certain prices because its unfair to the other chains. That’s BS! That law is illegal under the Antitrust law!


    Somehow gas should be cheaper when you use it for basic needs. However, when you fill your tank to drive to Disneyland or the family vacation to the grand canyon you should have a gas luxury tax. Of course you cannot enforce that but I think it makes sense.

    Last but not least. Find the guy with 18 chins. You know, the CEO of exxon mobil who is laughing at US, the people who have to buy gas with spare change. The guy who eats steak and lobster for breakfast and wipes with Benjamins. Find him and throw him in jail!!!!!

  2. Anthony said,

    Also, Oil for illegals! Mexico has oil that we technically deserve. Every illegal living in the US should be 1 barrel of oil a month. That way we get oil to reimburse us for the cost of supporting Mexico and at the same time put pressure on Mexico to limit mass illegal immigration. Michael Savage is the author of this idea.

  3. Matt S said,

    Until there is an equally efficient way to transport ourselves other than fuel-consuming cars we have no chance at lowering gas prices. I am suprised it took these geniuses this long to figure it out. They should be charging more!

    What if the price was $5\gallon, 6, 8? What would you do? The bus does not cut it. There is no trolley service for me. Biking is real long trip. Honestly we have no recourse. We are stuck.

    Investing in the gas companies is the best advice and also a very painful subject for me as I had stock in Exxon at $25\share when I was younger and had to sell so I could get married, dang it hurts!

  4. danielbalc said,

    I agree with Anthony (and Savage) regarding the oil for illegals idea. This is a very good idea. I do not however think that people who use less gas should be rewarded and people who use more should be punished. This logic depends on the idea that gasoline use is somehow bad for the environment. The myth of global warming. The earth is an incredible system and does not require our assistance one bit.

    I don’t have a problem with the gas companies charging an arm and a leg I have a problem with the collusion of the oil companies ALL charging it. This limits the ability of any single company to make any headway. It’s a monopoly of sorts that is supported by the government because it produces so much tax revenue. Why did the government go after microsoft? because they weren’t profiting off it. Why don’t they go after oil companies? Because they are raking it in.

  5. danielbalc said,

    Matt, Ouch on the exxon! Was it worth it?

  6. Matt S said,

    Wow! Just checked it and it is $81 a share! Nevertheless, it is worth it. Money comes and goes, but I could buy alot more diamond rings now than I could then if I would have held on!

  7. Matt S said,

    So lets open a gas station and charge $2 a gallon across the board. The volume increase should make up for the smaller profit per sale.

  8. danielbalc said,

    Which begs the question. Which is more valuable token of your affections, A ring or 100 shares of Exxon?

  9. danielbalc said,

    Matt, that’s the great theory however we can’t. It’s impossible. The law says you MUST charge nearly 10% over wholesale per gallon and you MUST charge the tax of about 45 cents per gallon.

    It’s the laws that need to change

  10. danielbalc said,

    And the first candidate to make a promise to change those laws has got my vote.

  11. Matt S said,


    Add this to your list of annoying cultural norms. Engagement rings!

    If it were culturally acceptable for me to buy a ring once I had the money or once we were married, my wife would now have a very nice ring and I would still have my 100+ shares of Exxon stock! Dang!

  12. danielbalc said,

    Yeah the whole engagement ring thing is NOT cool. The biggest irony of it all is that the greatest value of the ring is seen in the diamond not the band, but Gold is actually less plentiful on earth then diamonds so technically gold should be of more cost then diamonds.

    I should have proposed with bars of gold instead of a ring.

  13. Alex said,

    Oil makes the world go round! Our stock market depends on oil companies profits. Innovative people have already come up with ways to avoid using gasoline to fuel our cars but the governement has said “We will have none of this.”
    Check this out, http://www.treehugger.com/files/2007/03/illinois_man_fi.php
    We will see the use of more enviromental-friendly fuels when the government figures out how to make a profit from that as well. It’s a process that will take some time.

  14. Albino Hayford said,

    Diamond prices are artificially inflated. We are dupes for buying into the scam.

    Oil would not be an issue if we would simply DRILL IN ALASKA!!!

  15. Albino Hayford said,

  16. Matt S said,

    And the first candidate to make a promise to change those laws has got my vote.

    Since when does what a candidate promises on the campaign trail translate to what they actually do once in office?


    culture needs changing, not diamond companies. They are just taking advantage of the cultural norm. So, who will be the first to buy a coal ring?

  17. Alex said,

    If diamonds were plentiful and we could get them for what they were actually worth than we’d be putting something else on their finger. Just fork out the money and stop whining!!!! If your girlfriend demands at least a carat than give her a carrot and tell her to hit the road!!! I can’t believe the nerve of some women these days.

  18. RubeRad said,

    Here’s another really good idea about gasoline: buying gas for the future

  19. RubeRad said,

    If it were culturally acceptable for me to buy a ring once I had the money or once we were married

    Don’t a lot of people buy a crap ring to start with, and replace it later when they’re rich?

  20. Matt S said,

    It would have been a real crappy ring.

  21. 5najeras said,

    What about if your wife wants a carat? Be careful how you answer….. Alex…..

  22. Matt S said,

    That is a brilliant idea. No suprise it takes place in Minnesota where there is still some semblance of freedom. I assume there is some absurd law on the books in the wonderful state of California that would not allow for such a business.

  23. itsasecret2u said,

    Good gracious, I don’t even want to know how much ya’ll spent on engagement rings. You’d die if you knew what Dave got away with… Needless to say, he didn’t have any stocks to sell at the time. 🙂

  24. danielbalc said,


    how did this post go from gas to glass?

  25. itsasecret2u said,

    Sorry. I didn’t have anything to say about gas. That, to me, is one of those problems that we as individuals seems to have very little control over, except to control our own behavior. Whether that means you choose to use more or less, buy a hybrid or (ahem) a Suburban, that’s really all you can control. Realistically I don’t think that enough people will ever unite to do anything drastic to change the gas situation (i.e. boycotts of certain companies, etc.). Well just keep paying whatever the gas companies make us pay and, after a while, $4.00/gal won’t look so expensive. $2.00/gal doesn’t look expensive anymore, but it sure used to.

  26. danielbalc said,

    you’re not alone in having nothing to say about gas. I thought this discussion would be very popular but it has been anything but. It appears that everyone is of the opinion that there just isn’t anything we can do about it. what a sad testimony on our society. The subtlety of the communistic agenda in the public school systems has actually worked. There is no more power for the people.

    tonight I mourn

  27. Pablo Honey said,

    I hear you Daniel. It’s pretty sad when the American people can keep Sanjaya on American Idol, but can’t unite to bring down the price of gas. I think we need to devote all our national resources to finding a means to extract energy from urine, because eventually thats all we’re going to have to have left. Dennis Hopper will have all of the oil, and we’ll only have salt water and urine. Just ask the Mariner.

  28. danielbalc said,

    dry land exists I’ve seen it.

    I don’t know what all the fuss was about, that movie ROCKED!

  29. itsasecret2u said,

    Just being realistic. I’m actually surprised you’re so optimistic about this. But it begs the question… why this and only this? 😉

  30. Albino Hayford said,

    Send the roughnecks to Alaska and GET DRILLING!

  31. danielbalc said,

    optomistic? what do you mean, about what?

  32. Jessica said,

    Today is bike to work day, I told Zack he had better leave early because it might take him a long time to get to La Jolla hauling all those tools on his bike.

    It sucks that gas is so expensive but we don’t pay the highest in the world so we shouldn’t whine about it, even though it’s fun.


    Venezuela only pays 12 cents a gallon!?!?

  33. itsasecret2u said,


    About the idea that some sort of grass-roots, power-to-the-people campaign might actually cause a change or a shift on this issue in any way. That is optimistic, no?

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