State of the Union

January 23, 2007 at 7:37 pm (Politics thoughts)

Tonight President Bush will be giving his state of the union address. Foxnews asks the question, “what issues do you want to hear the President address tonight?”

It’s almost impossible to get yourself published on their site, but it’s easy on mine 🙂

So let me know; what would you like to hear the President say?

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10 Comments

  1. danielbalc said,

    I’ll start. I want to hear the President say that all of the rights of the constitution of the United States are only applicable to legal U.S. citizens. If another country wants to adopt their own declaration of independence and their own constitution and their own bill of rights then we, the people of this country, can choose to assist them in this quest or not. However we will not confer upon citizens of other nations the same rights and privileges that are available to our natural born and legalized citizens.

    Wouldn’t that silence a lot of debate?

  2. the forester said,

    Agreed — if only. Unfortunately a great many Americans who have less respect for the rule of law will not tolerate such a statement, and so I doubt Bush will make it.

    I’d like to hear Bush forcefully declare that he will veto federal funding for stem cell research. In a presidency that unfortunately hasn’t been very successful, this has been a singular strength (not that most Americans agree). I suspect, however, that Bush will conveniently neglect to mention his position on federally-funded stem cell research. At least he’ll be vetoing it.

    I’m not really sure what I want to hear from the President. At this point the ball isn’t in his court, it’s in Congress — and what I want from them is spelled out here. Aside from that, at this point Bush is rather a sidenote, isn’t he? Normally I watch the State of the Union address, but this one I’ll just read about tomorrow.

  3. Albino Hayford said,

    Members of Congress and My Fellow Americans,

    How’s everybody doin’ tonight? Let’s get real, here. The State of our Union is good, but the state of the Bush Presidency is in the dumpster! I hear you don’t like me very much, and since I only have two years left and can’t run for President again, I thought the time had come to just do what I think needs getting done, and let the chips fall where they may!

    First, because I clearly do not have the support of the country or the Congress in our battle with the insurgency in Iraq, and am really tired of all the whining and hand-wringing, I am announcing a complete withdrawal of troops from Baghdad. We will redeploy to protect the Kurds, who enthusiastically love us and celebrate us, and leave the Shias and Sunnis to work out their problems together.

    Second, I am asking Congress to immediately streamline the immigration process for those who are legally attempting to enter our country, especially those who are not wealthy, but want to come and work in Texas. I also want to personally offer my apology to Esther Ost for the rude and unkind treatment that she and her husband, Albino Hayford, received at the US Consulate in Ciudad Juarez. They were herded from, what can only be described as corral to corral, like animals, when processing their fiance visa, and treated with suspicion and disrespect all through the two days they spent in Juarez. This is inexcusable and will never happen again.

    Third, beginning immediately, we will fine businesses who hire illegal aliens $100,000 per worker, and shut them down until they pay and comply with the law. Those who are here illegally must identify themselves, pay a fine of $5,000 each for entering our country illegally, and begin a 2-year path to legal residency.

    Fourth, I am calling for a national fast, to humble ourselves as a country before Almighty God, and beg His forgiveness for our wickedness, pornography, abortion, legalization of gay marriage, and arrogance in our own power and wealth. I am asking every man, woman, boy and girl to cry out to God for mercy, and to turn to the Jesus Christ of the Bible, our only hope and Savior. I will further be asking Pastor Albino Hayford to speak to the nation once a month from the White House, outlining the Gospel and a plan for national repentance and reformation.

    Fifth, to you wicked despots around the world who torture and kill Christians, I have a special message. We will end all economic ties to your countries and will hound you mercilessly until you release Christians from your gulags and stop the brutal oppression of those who seek to worship Christ. If this does not get your attention, we will recall our ambassadors and actively seek to cut you off from the world community. This means you, Castro, Kim Yong Il, and all you Chinese freakburgers too.

    Sixth, I am calling for a voucher system for all public schools (and exempting home school families from paying public school taxes), cutting federal taxes by another 50% to everyone who actually pays them (middle class and above), and allowing everyone to transfer from social security to a private, personal investment plan.

    Seventh, I am asking the NFL Commissioner to strip Jerry Jones of his ownership of the Dallas Cowboys, and give that franchise to Mark Cuban. I will also ask Mr. Cuban to beg Bill Parcells to come back and coach the Cowboys again, giving him full control over the hiring and firing of players, coaches and all coaching decisions.

    Finally, I am asking for Dick Cheney’s resignation as Vice President. He is a good man, but I feel that Secretary Condoleeza Rice should be my Vice President, and I am giving her my full support in her campaign to be the next President of the United States, with Congressman Duncan Hunter serving as her running mate.

    God bless you, and may God bless Texas and the United States of America.

  4. danielbalc said,

    WOW! I would love to hear the democratic response to that one. It would probably just be a pale faced Jim Webb with his mouth hanging open and his eyes as wide as saucers. “ugggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh”

  5. George W. Bush said,

    Dear Albino Hayford,

    Thank you for the canned State of the Union address. I’ve been sweating bullets for months trying to think of what to say! You have saved me a lot of work. As you know, over the past 12 months the members of my Cabinet have been dropping like flies and it is becoming more and more difficult to find good help these days. Please accept my invitation to join my staff as my Official Speech Writer & Director of Common Sense (official title.) I look forward to working with you to solve the problems this great Country is facing.

    Sincerely,

    George W. Bush
    President of The United States of America

  6. RubeRad said,

    I can’t say anything other than — that’s just funny. I think I don’t need to listen to the real State of the Union now. There’s no way it could be this good!

  7. Echo_ohcE said,

    Daniel,

    Re: 1

    People think that the rights given to US citizens are fundamentally true for every human being. Thus they cannot agree that non-citizens shouldn’t be given the same treatment. They think that anything other than how we are treated is inhumane.

    Albino,

    Do you really think Rice will run for Pres? Wouldn’t that be something if it was Hilary vs. Rice?

    “This just in…men everywhere stayed home from the polls today, while women turned out in record numbers…”

    I’d vote for Rice, but I’d rather vote for Guiliani. He’s Italian and a New Yorker. If we vote him in, the whole country would have mob ties. That’d be cool…

    E

  8. itsasecret said,

    Rice has said she will not run, though I rather wish she would… I think.

    For now, I shall ignore Echo’s stereotyping of Italian-Americans, as I need to go stir my spaghetti sauce.

    😛

  9. Echo_ohcE said,

    Echo is a Chicago Italian…

  10. itsasecret said,

    Secret is a… Californian-Italian by way of Louisiana. Hmm… Doesn’t sound nearly so cool as a NYC or Jersey Italian. Oh well.

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