The Greatest Fear of San Diegans

November 30, 2006 at 3:47 pm (Pop thoughts, Random thoughts)

There are certain aspects of San Diego culture that uniquely define us. San Diego is a “transplant” city. By some estimates only 10% of the population of San Diego was actually born within the region. This means that the cultural quirks and iconic characteristics of our home are always in danger of adapting to the present population (which may be from Minnesota or some other foreign country).

A Sampling of some of the things that are uniquely San Diego…

The Hotel Del

Balboa Park


The San Diego Zoo

Indian Casinos

Mexican Food

Old Town

The Padres and Chargers

Stadium Lawsuits

Point Loma

Great Weather

Sea World

All of these things have a special place in my heart because they were influential in shaping my outlook on life. The San Diego culture in many ways defines who I am.

Yesterday my San Dieganess took a hit.

San Diego has many beautiful animals as a part of it’s natural wildlife. The diamondback rattlesnake, the valley quail, the kangaroo rat and the Giant Panda are some of the most popular. On occasion these wonderful creatures interact with people in a display of charity and affection that most parts of the world don’t get to experience. For instance once as a young man I had an encounter with a rattlesnake where it repeatedly attempted to kiss me. This type of affection is part of the unique San Dieganess that I am talking about.

Yesterday a San Diegan was sharing a wonderful experience with one of our larger native animals, the Killer Whale (more commonly known as Orca for you readers outside of San Diego). They were having a good time swimming together and playing around when all of a sudden without provocation the Killer Whale (a term of endearment BTW) bit his foot and held him under water for approximatley 1 minute. Probably realizing that his human lungs couldn’t hold on much longer our aquatic friend allowed him to come up for air for a brief moment before leading him back underwater for another minute or two. (Read More of the Story Here)

Those who are faithfully following this blog know that we have recently introduced PESA legislation that requires that animals (and plants and weather) adhere to standards that have been clearly demonstrated as mutually beneficial for all involved.

This incident seems to be a clear violation of PESA legislation (though perhaps done in ignorance) but has far worse ramifications then the endangerment of the whale trainers life. It is a threat to San Diego culture! Cultural threats are far more serious then personal privileges. We must act now to protect our San Diego culture of riding around on whales noses. If we allow this type of PESA disobedience to continue then we can pretty much assume that within the next 5 years we are going to be kowtowing to cows.



  1. Albino Hayford said,

    The whale should be charged with attempted murder and given 10 years and community service. If they want rights like humans, they must be accountable like humans. Um, good luck raising the money for his care and feeding in Otay.

  2. itsasecret said,

    Hmm… How to respond? Shall I defend poor Shamu and his unfortunate trainer? You want me to, don’t you? I can feel it…

    But, alas, I cannot. I’m a naturalist. Any idiot who wants to ride around on a giant dolphin’s nose (yes, orcas are dolphins) deserves to spend a few minutes trapped under water, in my opinion. Why does man feel the need to “tame” nature in this way, I wonder? Put Shamu back in the ocean where he (or she, in this case) belongs.

  3. PESA Update: AK owes a solid to PK! Giants and Dolphins face off! « Daniel’s Den said,

    […] One of the difficulties of PESA is trying to follow the equability of what each kingdom owes the other kingdom. This past week the People Kingdom earned a big one from the Animal Kingdom. You will recall the deliberate attack of the Orca intent on injuring her trainer in San Diego the past week. Ethical Standards should have been followed by the PK and punishment should have been brought down upon the AK, specifically aquatic mammals. Nevertheless we (the people) demonstrated tremendous restraint by not inflicting any discipline. Not only that but in this latest story we see that the AK went and did something very stupid (eating plastic) and was saved by the long arm of the Chinese. Clearly the AK is now doubly indebted to the PK and I anticipate those favors being cashed in in the near future. […]

  4. Gentoo said,

    I found this blog by googling the phrase “stupid San Diegans”. I also work at Sea World. Lets clarify something here. You described Orcinus orca (yes orca is only PART of the scientific name), as bieng “native to San Diego in the same way a Larus occidentalis is. It’s not! A Killer Whale is a Killer Whalre plain and simple. It’s a dangerous animal but most people seem to forget that. It’s like training a Tiger or Bear, anytime you work with a dangerous, meat eating, predatory animal, you run the risk of being hurt by them. I know almost all of the SW trainers personally and they are well aware of this risk.

    By the way this isn’t unique to SD either. Need I remind you that there are two other SW parks in other cities both bigger than San Diego’s? Not to mention the other Killer Whales in the Miami Seaquarium and Marine World so this is hardly a San Diego exclusive, especially since the other Sea Wolrds as leat has similar icedences with other whales.

    Remember how I found this blog.

  5. danielbalc said,

    My Dear Gentoo, you must understand that PESA related articles on this blog are purely satirical. I apologize for anything stated which may seem offensive but you have to understand you simply jumped into the middle of an ongoing satire on the ironies of environmental activism. As a sea World employee you have my highest regards and respect. i am faithful contributer to the Anheiser Busch theme park franchises and owe you a great deal of gratitude. I demonstrate my thanks by spending the money that thus goes to your pay check. please heed the advice of the ancients… don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Or the foot that rides you.

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